breakdown

breakdown
by jack johnson

I hope this old train breaks down
Then I could take a walk around
And see what there is to see
And time is just a melody
All the people in the street
Walk as fast as their feet can take them
I just roll through town
And though my window's got a view
The frame I'm looking through
Seems to have no concern for now
So for now

I need this
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown

This engine screams out loud
Centipede gonna crawl westbound
So I don't even make a sound
Cause it's gonna sting me when I leave this town
All the people in the street
That I'll never get to meet
If these tracks don't bend somehow
And I got no time
That I got to get to
Where I don't need to be
So I

I need this here
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown
I need this here
Old train to breakdown
Oh please just
Let me please breakdown

I wanna break on down
But I can't stop now
Let me break on down

But you can't stop nothing
If you got no control
Of the thoughts in your mind
That you kept in, you know
You don't know nothing
But you don't need to know
The wisdom's in the trees
Not the glass windows
You can't stop wishing
If you don't let go
But things that you find
And you lose, and you know
You keep on rolling
Put the moment on hold
The frame's too bright
So put the blinds down low

the deal-breaker

How do you define the limits for a relationship?

How do you know when to let this particular oddity slide or decide you simply cannot tolerate it? I know some people who have a thing for religion - they have to share the same faith with their partners. Others can accept their spouses having an affair as long as the said spouse comes home every night, but refuse to live with the in-laws (or have the in-laws live with them).

Personally, I think it's just a matter of weighing what matters most to you. Do you go for fidelity above all else? (I know I do.) Can you live with the fact that you partner will never be as romantic as you want him to be? (Hmmmm...)

So, yes, I'm asking you - what's your deal-breaker?

do i know you?

Blame it on poor eyesight.

Yesterday, the girls and I trooped down to the nearby mall to have lunch. As I was enjoying my greasy pizza and listening to B, L, and M trash-talk the most renowned work hazard (okay, okay, so I did more than just the listening), this guy in light-blue sleeves walked past. Actually, I noticed the girl he was with first because she had on an interesting top (although it was a boring black in color) and somehow, my eyes swept over the girl's face and landed on his face. And as our eyes met, he kinda, sorta nodded at me.

As if we knew each other.

But the blank confusion on my face must have registered on him at once, because then he looked away as he and the girl both walked past.

Did I really know that guy? Or, cheeky assumption aside, was he just being "fresh" with me while his arm was around the girl's waist?

You decide. ;p

this is not me

passing through these busy streets
the sunlight kisses my skin
birds above are twittering
and my heart is glad

the sunlight kisses my skin
while my head is screaming
and my heart is glad
in protest, in defiance

while my head is screaming
from the paradox of you
in protest, in defiance
of our chemistry

from the paradox of you
my heart pumps euphoric beats
of our chemistry
while i wander 'round and back

my heart pumps euphoric beats
and i can't seem to choose
while i wander 'round and back
where to go? when to hold?

and i can't seem to choose
so, happy pills, answer this:
where to go? when to hold?
you make me happy
but this is not me.

you make me happy
but this is not me.

an easy Sunday evening

I'm watching Sunshine in my room, and from an open window, the scent of freshly-laundered clothes that had obviously been marinated in Downey waft in. Although Sunshine is not basically a though-provoking film, it's just enough to blithely assault the mind and senses.

A Sunday night (before returning to a highly-resented weekly grind) can't get any better than this.

chicken!

Months ago, Allan and I were preparing Kikik for the English-speaking world. We aren't in the habit of speaking English at home, so of course, I was a bit worried Kikik might have a difficult time communicating in the U.S. (The other two boys, they're okay, since they speak English at school.)

What if, we asked Kikik, your friend invites you to his house and your friend's mom asks you what you want to eat? What will you say? (this in Bisaya, of course).

"Eskebeti!" he exclaimed. Eskebeti is Kikik-speak for "spaghetti," his fave food for the moment.

"Oh, they won't be able to understand eskebeti. You have to say it properly. Now, repeat after me. Say 'Spa...' "

"Spa..." Kikik mimics.

"Geti!"

"Geti!" Kikik dutifully follows me.

"Spaghetti!"

"Spaghetti!" The little guy looked surprised that he was able to say the word properly.

"See! That wasn't so difficult after all. Now, let's try it again. (mimicking a high-pitched voice) 'What do you want to eat, Kikik?'"

The little guy pondered for a moment, and then, with that mischievous smile, blurted out:

"CHICKEN!"

in other words

Why do you lose a friendship?

Is it because you were never really friends to begin with, and you just got together due to circumstances, and that, no matter how you try to connect, you just don't?

Or is it because you haven't gotten together for awhile and now that you have started going out again, you realized you are not the same person she knew, and that no matter how you try to tell her that, she just doesn't get it?

Or it could even be that yes, you do go out occasionally, but it's just to party somewhere and there really never was any substantial conversation going on? And somehow, you just lost touch of how your friendship used to be, and then one stormy night, some things were said and you could never take back the words you lashed out on her.

Or is it because one day it just dawned on you that you can't take anymore of her petty dramas and annoying, attention-seeking tantrums?

Or, somewhere along the way, you somehow just went separate ways.

I mean, what I'm saying is: why did I lose you?

so, are you gay?

Let's say you have an acquaintance: male, single, acts and appears normal, talks normal. Has had some relationships with the opposite sex in the past (or so he claims) but none at the present.

The first time you met him, you said to yourself: hmm, just another average Joe.

Or so it seems. Lately, though, things about him just don't quite seem to add up. Like the way his face contorts into a bitchy grimace whenever something doesn't appeal to him. Or how his face is just, well, flawless. Or the way he looks at you and goes, "Hey, I like your outfit today." (instead of just "Hey, you look great today!"). Or how he always manages to outperform you on bitch-fest sessions.

Personally I don't have anything against the third-sex. I think they're very talented and artistic, they have a flair for exaggerated drama (which I find refreshingly funny), and they are blunt but sincere. Well, the screaming queens and the occasional princess with finesse, at least.

But this person - you don't quite know how to classify him. Heterosexual? Homosexual? Or just your plain metrosexual?

Maybe even bi. Now, bisexuals - me no likee. I mean, you gotta decide which you wanna do: the male or the female? (Just not animals, please [now that's perversion to the nth degree].) Because if you can't make up your mind, you're not worth knowing/having as a friend.

So let's say you have this acquaintance I just described, and you're really itching to know if he's gay or not but you don't want to come off as rude or vulgar. Or you don't want to pre-empt him, when you know he has not yet prepared for his coming-out production number.

How, then, do you ask this person about his sexual preference without making it too obvious? Here are some of my ideas:

1) I think Brad Pitt is losing his touch, no? (Plus points for the homo factor if he comments on Brad's appearance, hair, whatever. Minus points if he just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, he's got Angelina Jolie.")

2) Do you think I should dye my hair/change my haircut? (Plus points if he tries to analyze your skin tone/face shape and even suggest highlights; minus points if he just looks at you blankly, like a little boy lost.)

3) What's your favorite color? (Plus points if he answers magenta or fuchsia, minus points if he says navy blue or red.)

So, what could be other ways of asking without being too obvious, hmm?

sophia's morning

It felt wrong, right from the start.

As he made his way up the stairs to his room, he could only sigh. He didn’t see it coming, that one. Or maybe, deep down in his heart, he knew it was gonna happen sometime soon, but he was just too caught up in the whirlwind of sensations that he didn’t pay heed to the murmurings of his heart.

Opening the door to his room, the bed somehow looked inviting, and forbidding, at the same time. Maybe if he just lay down there for a while, he could perhaps sleep his heartache away. Or he could sleep and sleep, and never wake up.

Ah, Sophia.

He remembered the first time he saw her – she was with a group of friends, laughing that delicate, tinkling laugh that tugged at his heart and made it skip a beat. Nonchalantly flipping her black, curly hair away from her face, he knew he was in trouble. And moments later, when a guy came up to her, held her hand, and kissed her lightly on the mouth, he knew he was in deeper trouble.

But, fate must have determined that they should meet.

One lazy Sunday afternoon, when the idle winds of summer would not give him respite from the sweltering heat, he decided to meet up with friends at a nearby coffee shop.

Though he did not like coffee that much, “An iced tea would be nice,” he thought.

When he arrived at the coffee shop, his friends were already there, all cramped together around a small table, boisterous and rowdy, as usual.

“Hey, over here!” lanky Neil called out to him.

As he approached the table, he couldn’t help but be drawn to the girl sitting next to Neil. Black, curly hair paired with a sweet, sweet smile.

“I’m sure you already know Sophia?” Neil asked.

“No, I don’t think we’ve met,” was all he could muster as he held out his hand. “Ben.”

“Hello,” Sophia said in that charming way he knew would always be hers. And as their hands touched for a moment, he could only think of wiping away that sweet smile with his mouth.

(to be continued)