top 10 signs there may never be a second date

Artwork: Courtesy of ~nanaraposa

Dating boo-boos, as related by friends. (I've been out of the dating game for about 8 years now, so it's safe to say I did not experience all these. heheh)

10) All throughout the date – from the coffee shop, to the dinner, to the movies, to the late night drinks – you’re texting like the world cannot function without the messages you’re typing out. If you’re bored with me, we might as well have bid each other sayonara while we were still at the coffee shop and called it a night. I also have more interesting things to do than stare at your blank face, you know.

9) Talking non-stop about your job. Listen, we’re here on a date, not a career counseling session.

8) Letting us girls pay. If you asked us out, you’re paying. If we make like we’re reaching for our purses, "pretending" to split the bill with you, insist (gently) that it’s on you tonight. If we still insist on splitting the bill, that's when you say, “Well, you can buy me drinks later.”

7) And when it’s our turn to pay, don’t order everything in sight. You don’t want to seem like a freeloader. Us pretty girls can maybe get away with freeloading from you guys. But when you do the freeloading, no matter how pretty a guy you are, it just leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

6) Mentioning sex. No matter if it’s a green joke, or a very suggestive innuendo, or just a seemingly offhand comment – Just. Don’t. Sex is not only a touchy subject; you also cannot predict how we will react to that topic. It could set the mood for the date, or it could totally ruin the evening. Unless we mentioned it first, second, third, and the fourth time. Then, by all means, talk all you want about it.

5) Talking about our future together. Because, excuse me, this is just a first date and does not necessarily equate that we will be spending our lives together from this moment until forever! Plus, doing this just makes you come across as desperate. And creepy.

4) Badmouthing the ex. Your ex. Each time you do that, we’ll think that a) there’s something really horrible about you which is why your ex was acting that way, or b) you’re gonna do that to me, too, when we part ways.

3) Eating with your mouth open. Or making smacking noises while eating. One word. Eeww.

2) Checking out every hot girl who passes by. A big no-no. Save that for when we’re comfortable enough to be totally secure in our relationship (if ever we do have one), and THEN we can check out girls together. I might even point out to you how that girl manages to sport such perky boobs.

1) Talking about yourself. All night loooooong. *yawn*

I'm challenging the guy readers to come up with their own list, this time from a guy's point of view.

top 10 signs you're addicted to coffee

Artwork: Courtesy of asuka111.

The idea for this post came to mind when I realized that 2 scoops of ground coffee beans no longer work for me. I am now at 3 scoops per 6 ounces of water, two times a day.

10) In the movie Meet the Robinsons, you had an a-ha moment when that Lucille character introduced the caffeine patch. You wonder why that hasn't been marketed before. So you google it, and learn there is actually such a product. And then you do cartwheels. In your head.

9) You dream in shades of caramel, cappuccino, flat white, and espresso.

8) You think men (or women, as the case may be) should be like coffee, too: rich, dark, and coarsely grounded. Mmm, perfect for that shiny, new French Press you just bought.

7) You've noticed your officemates avoiding you on early mornings, when you haven't had your morning coffee yet.

6) You have to have coffee in order to sleep well at night.

5) Your boyfriend knows that whenever he takes you out on a date, the first stop in your itinerary is the coffeeshop.

4) On a similar note, he also knows (or learned from experience) to never, ever pick an argument with you if you haven't had your caffeine fix yet.

3) As an anniversary gift, your boyfriend tells you you can do whatever you want to him. Giddy with possibilities, you rack up your mind for ideas. And then you tell him to dress up in that cute barista costume and serve you coffee all week long. Or even a whole month, if you can get away with it.

2) When you enter your neighborhood coffee shop, the baristas automatically take down the "Coffee Refill at Half the Price!" sign.

1) If you had children, they would be named Latte, Macchiato, and Coffee Jelly. (Frappuccino is for wimps.)